2006-07-31 - 1:12 p.m.

I went to a baby shower on Sunday.

I hate baby showers

and bridal showers

I had a bridal shower and i felt terribly bad for everyone who attended. I remember the discomfort I felt when I sat down to open presents while everyone watched. In hindsight, I wish I had said (prior to opening my presents) "Ok people.. I know this is the last place you want to be right now. It's a Sunday afternoon and I know there are plenty of places you'd rather be than sitting in my mother's living room watching me open boxes with dishes inside and then feel like you have to comment on them.. so I'll make this real quick and painless, won't pass anything around.. thank you for coming and then you can all get the fuck out of here".

Well I didn't do that. I should have though.

The babyshower on Sunday was 3 hours of my life that I will never get back.. but that's ok. I know there are probably some women who like to ooh and aah about how soft a blanket is and how cute that little onzie is.. but not pinky. I go into estrogen overdose and start pacing like a caged coyote.

The mother of the 'mother to be' was weird and had a high sqeaky voice... I think she may have been secretly drinking from a flask she had hidden in her swearter set. The gift that she gave her daughter was a little knit hat that was very babygirlvictorian looking. "Well if it's a girl it can be a regular hat, but if it's a boy it can be a christening hat".

Side thought..
Why is it ok for baby boys to look like girls on their Christening/Babtism Day? That is just strange to me. "It's a very special day little johnny! After today you will be a child of god (because you aren't until you get some water put on your head and are blessed by a priest or minister?!?!) So with that said, we are going to put you in a long white dress with a girlie little bonnet.. Won't that make you feel like a special little child of God"

Anyway.. I piped in (Wedding Crashers Don'tdoit Style) and said "Or a burp rag if it's a boy".. Everyone giggled.. except for squeakyvoiceddrunk grandmother to be.

For heaven's sake.. I needed to entertain myself.. I was dying in there!!

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