2004-07-13 - 1:06 p.m.

I'm back. Actually I got back on Sat. morning but I am just back to work today. Jeesh, I feel like I have a lot to report.. I'll just ramble I guess. Had a great time on the trip and got plenty of beach and sun time. I am happy to say that I have a baby that tans. None of this wimpy burning stuff. So I started her out with the SPF 45 (because it's the responsible parent thing to do) Once she was past any risk of burning I started sneaking #8 on to her because she just looked so damn cute all brownie. She is still a chunker so she has white creases in her arms and legs but the rest of her is just a little brown berry! I probably shouldn't be so obsessed with the tanning thing but I always feel so good and healthy when I've been in the sun and on the beach for a week. Of course I assumed that Lucy would feel the same way. I also usually start fantasizing about not working and spending summers on the beach. I think a few months would really be a good amount of time to disconnect to the hectic-ness and stress of life and really get lazy.

We rented a large 5 bedroom house in Michigan about 70 yards from the lake. We had 10 adults and 6 chillins in the house all under the age of 3 1/2. The kid thing is a trip. All of the cousins are roughly 6 months apart. The youngest being 6 months and the oldest being the above mentioned 3 1/2. I don't know how many times I either said "Poop" or heard the word "Poop" but it's definitely off the charts. One thing that was quite interesting for me was seeing the different parenting styles of my sister and step siblings. One mom was completely focused on what and when her children ate. You would have thought the goal of the vacation was to see how many complete and healthful meals this woman could get into her 2 kids. She also has her older daughter completely brainwashed. e.g.: I gave Lucy a sucker so that she would shut up for awhile and so that I could change her diaper without a wrestling match. Her cousin Katherine (the 3 1/2 yr old) comes over and says "Why is baby Lucy having a sucker before we eat dinner?" I was floored.. I couldn't believe that there is actually a parent who can convince their child that having a sucker before dinner isn't a good idea. Then there was the dad who every time his daughter took a crap he would whisper to her telling her to "go ask mommy to change your diaper". The kicker was that he would do this all the while playing Golf on the Play Station 2 that he brought up there.

We got screwed on our room b/c we got up there last. We ended up getting the only bedroom on the first floor which was right next the living/dining areas. So every morning we would get woken up by early risin' chillins and every night I would be kept awake by PS2 Golf Playing Mother Fuckers.

All in all though, we had a good time. We laughed and drank and hung out at the beach and basically all enjoyed each others company. It was great seeing all the kids play together with the exception of a few biting, slapping and throw downs that took place.

Lucy is in love with her uncle Damon. This is my step brother that has Leukemia. It was amazing to watch and got me a little choked up. When he would come into the room she would shriek and go running out of the room laughing, turning her head back to see if he was chasing her and batting her eyes. If he didn't notice her right away she would stand there clasping her hands with a big shit eater just waiting for him to spot her. When he would, he would say "LU CY!!" and she would run to him, throw her arms around his legs and plant her face into his groin. It was just so damn sweet!

I felt pretty bad at one point b/c as he was holding her she got so excited that she ripped out the port for his chemo, which got fixed but it freaked me out.

When I got home I was amazed at 2 things. One: That none of my plants had died and Two: How much everything had grown. It was like coming home to kid that has sprouted since the last time you saw them. Everything in the yard is doing great and It excites me to see things coming together and looking good. With the exception of Lucy, my husband, dogs and my family, it is the other thing that gives me great joy.

I didn't work on Monday but I called my boss in the morning to see what I had missed. She was on vacation too. She asked me if I had called in at all to which I replied "No, I was on vacation". I could smell her distaste for that answer so I followed up with "suck my left tit" if you think I should call in for no reason while I'm on fucking vacation Be-Atch! Well she informed me that one of my deals closed and that I had another thing that was looking good. So that was cool and now I'm back to working again. I have more things to write about such as the wrench that has been thrown into Lucy's daycare situation and that I'll most likely have to can her babysitter but I'll save that for tomorrow b/c my fingers are getting tired now and I should really get back to work.

The End.

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