2005-01-24 - 9:41 a.m.

It was a long weekend. My mom and I flew to LA on Friday morning and I arrived home late last night. We went out there for my friend Cyndi's ordination as a priest into the Episcopalian churcch. Being that I am not an Episcopalian, I was unaware that they ordain women as priests. The service was close to 3 hours and I felt emotionally exausted afterwards. It was quite a production. They ordained 9 priests and there was a lot of incense and fancypriestdress. The Bishop looked like a colorful pope. Ok, back to the emotionally exausting part.. I don't know what it is, but every time I go to church I end up bawling. It stirs up deep things within me and I really have a hard time controlling the tears. I feel this weird tapping on my shoulder or something.. Like God saying.. "Here I am.. I know you try to ignore me all the time, but here I am".. And then I just cry. This of course worries my mom who thinks I'm having a nervous breakdown or something. I tried to explain it all to her, but it always ends up sounding strange. I think partly because I watch my words out of fear.. fear that I will come off soundikng like a freaky thumper or something.

When I got home my husband was exausted from taking care of Lucy all weekend. That, and the shoveling killed him. So.. needless to say, I did not receive a very warm welcome when I got home. It was more of a pissed off sounding grunt that translated in my mind to.. "bitch, don't you ever leave me home alone to do all the work again you selfish crotch". Yeah, that's what it felt like. So that was wonderful.

It was very nice seeing Lucy this morning. She popped out of her crib and with her tired face and bed head, she looked like a little chick who just hatched from an egg. She took her bink out of her mouth to give me a kiss.. I felt honored. At least she was happy to see me... Oh, don't let me forget to mention my dogs.. they were quite happy to have pinkymom home too.

I'm back at work now.. I saw Ricky this morning and took a detour so that I could avoid him. Just wasn't in the mood for pathetic this morning.
As you can see, the relegious experience I had over the weekend, is really staying with me!! LOL

Happy Monday!!

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